1. A politician making an inoffensive remark about a politically-protected minority group (or gender) will be forced to apologize for being “insensitive.” He will have to grovel before the proper PC authorities and swear that if he could, he would have marched with Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. (or whichever group icon it may be). This may also include asking honest questions about points about liberal dogma ranging from the Civil War to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to speech codes.
2. A foreign lobby will pressure President Obama to commit U.S. troops or U.S. airpower to assist in a civil war, border dispute, or to prevent “ethnic cleansing” in a region that is either oil-rich or not remotely tied to America’s national interests. There will be no declaration of war or even a congressional “resolution” to authorize the action. Republicans will complain that even though Obama does exactly what they want they will insist that he appeared weak in the process, bringing great shame to America.
3. Some politician or media figure will say something mildly critical of the policies of the Israeli government or something else verboten about the pro-Israeli slant in the American media. This individual will then have his character assassinated by the media until he admits that they do not in fact exist.
4. There will be some skirmish or dispute somewhere in the world in which the president might not send U.S. forces. The pages of The Weekly Standard and The New Republic will read, “It’s Munich all over again.”
5. Two major political parties will nominate pragmatic centrist candidates who will declare that the status quo in the United States is unacceptable but will propose nothing to change the status quo.
6. President Obama will go on vacation or a date with his wife that will cost the American taxpayers seven figures. The grassroots Right will wale that this is another example of Obama wasting tax dollars and being out of touch with the majority of the country. They will remain silent regarding the billions spent in Afghanistan, Pakistan, or by that time, Syria.
7. The Federal Reserve will approve more than $1 trillion in bailouts to foreign central banks, government-sponsored enterprises, and the Goldman Sachs’ of the world. Liberals will scream that the Republicans are the party of fat cats and Wall Street.
8. Republicans will use phrases like “respect for the Constitution” to convince their base that they are “strict constructionists.” Then they will say that the Constitution is insufficient to deal with the threat of terrorism, that the document is a “suicide pact” and must be interpreted in a different, bold way to deal with the problems of today.
9. The majority of Americans will laugh at the tiny minority who truly believe the world will end on December 21, 2012. Much of this same majority will continue on blithely believing that a country $15 trillion in debt doesn’t have its own expiration date when neither party is committed to addressing the biggest items in the budget: military, Social Security, Medicare, and interest on the debt, even as they promise to add more entitlements. What happened to Rome, Spain, and Great Britain can’t happen here.
10. All the Republicans who said they couldn’t support Mitt Romney for president because of his role in introducing a miniature version of Obamacare in Massachusetts will suddenly convince themselves that Mitt really is a great guy and “one of us” when he picks his version of Sarah Palin, Marco Rubio, a political operative that will enthusiastically tell Republicans the lies they like to hear.
11. A prominent pro-life, pro-traditional values politician or activist will be caught paying for an abortion or be caught in a dalliance with a man or woman who is not his wife.
12. More evidence of a cover-up of a government scheme, like global warming, to waste tax dollars and increase surveillance of Americans’ lives will be discovered. Anybody who points out that this has happened, even though it is reported by the major news outlets, will be derisively called a “conspiracy theorist” despite the acknowledgement that a conspiracy was indeed taking place.
Happy New Year